Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
