i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
