Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
