I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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