you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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