i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize