Will you blow on my dice?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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