Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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