Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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