I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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