woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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