He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
