dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
