he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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