I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize