you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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