she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm like, not good at living.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
