Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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