Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Can I color on your dick again?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
