She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
