I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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