Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
