im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
