so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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