I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The power of my boobs compel you
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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