Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
