just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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