Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
