): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
