I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
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We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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