would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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