I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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