In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
sex in a hospital.. check
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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