While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize