I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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