I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The best revenge is premature balding
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
