you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
