some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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