You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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