...so i touched it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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