Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
