party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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