a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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