do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
