You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
