I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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