glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
