Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
