Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
