There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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