I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize