I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
