I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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