Your mouth is God's brothel.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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