Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize