First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
