I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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