Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize