Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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