Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
