i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
