Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
