shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
