you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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