Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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