got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
