Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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