NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
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That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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