just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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Floor bacon is actually really good
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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